Lab Bitch

Tales of a female undergrad working in a quantum computing lab in her university's Physics department.

  • Undergrad: Hey, Laura, one of the grad students left that for you. *points to candy on table*
  • Laura (undergrad): Aww, how sweet! Why?
  • Undergrad: Because he wants you to fix the broken vacuum pump...uhh, I mean, because he wanted to wish you a happy birthday, of course!
  • Laura: Arghhh

Posted November 16, 2012 at 2:52 pm 2 notes

#lab bitch#physics#lab-bitch#grad school

  • *discussing travel plans to a conference*
  • Lab PI: Did you guys want to go to colloquium this Friday?
  • Everyone: What's the topic?
  • Lab PI: Something on biophysics.
  • Everyone: *scoffs and laughs*

Posted November 2, 2012 at 8:00 am 1 notes

#lab bitch#lab-bitch#physics#biophysics#physics lab

  • Fellow undergrad: So, the soldering iron is broken, so I'm gonna need you to use the other soldering iron to solder it together again.
  • Me: Wait, what?

Posted November 1, 2012 at 8:44 pm 1 notes

#lab bitch#lab-bitch#physics#soldering#soldering iron

I don’t understand why I walked past one of the grad students in my lab roller blading through the halls of the physics building in tights at 8pm.

Just.

What?

Posted October 9, 2012 at 12:12 am 1 notes

#physics#grad students#grad school#lab-bitch

  • Grad Student: WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE KNOW THAT IF YOU'RE SHIPPING HARDWARE TO AMERICA TO JUST ALWAYS SEND IMPERIAL SCREWS???

Posted September 19, 2012 at 1:23 pm 1 notes

#physics#physics lab#lab bitch#lab-bitch#grad school#grad students#imperial system#metric system

  • Me: Where did the power cord go for my oscilloscope? It was just here!
  • Assistant Scientist: One of the grad students probably took it when you weren't looking.
  • Me: Grrrrrrrr

Posted August 31, 2012 at 3:58 pm 4 notes

#grad students#undergrads#physics#science#lab bitch#queue#no respect#seriously just because I'm an undergrad doesn't mean you can just take shit from my equipment#I'm trying to test my programs so that your lasers will stop drifting#so all you're doing is hurting yourself#just saying

  • Grad Student 1: Is anybody using this cable?
  • Grad Student 2: Uh, the new undergrad was just using it to test his stuff.
  • Grad Student 1: Can I take it?
  • Grad Student 2: Yeah, probably.
  • *two minutes later*
  • Undergrad: Where did that cable go??

Posted August 31, 2012 at 8:00 am

#grad students#grad student#undergrads#lab bitch#queue

The lab is always in shambles whenever the espresso machine is broken.

Suddenly none of the devices work, fidelity of experiments is sub 20%, none of the data makes sense, all code is filled with syntax errors, all of the electronics short-circuit, and the two people who always know what they’re doing are nowhere to be found.

Posted August 30, 2012 at 4:00 pm 1 notes

#coffee#espresso#lab bitch#physics#lab#laboratory#espresso machine#coffee machine#experiment#queue

  • Grad Student (angrily) : Who designed this?!
  • Assistant Scientist: Xing Li, why?
  • Grad Student: It started SMOKING when I used it. Do you smell this?
  • Assistant Scientist: That's weird, it worked fine last week. Did you have the coils plugged in?
  • Grad Student (still visibly angry) : Yes, I had everything in!
  • *Assistant Scientist begins explaining what the device does*
  • Grad Student: Wait, this is a current generator?
  • ...
  • Grad Student: Ohhh, so if I don't have the coils in, it fries itself?

Posted August 29, 2012 at 12:31 pm 3 notes

#conversation#lab bitch#grad students#physics#scientist#grad student

  • Undergrad: When is Mark coming back? (Professor in charge of the lab)
  • Grad Student: Umm, I dunno. Nobody even knew what CONTINENT he's been on until Vlad (Postdoc) told us.

Posted August 1, 2012 at 3:52 pm